A man went to the dentist to get his teeth checked.While he was sitting in the chair being examined, the dentist said to him, “Have you done oral sex lately?” The man replied, “Why yes”, I did this morning actually. How could you tell? Have you found a pubic hair stuck in my tooth? The dentist says “No”, not quite. You’ve got some shit on the end of your nose!
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl’s grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, “Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?” “Of course not, dear.” replied the mother, “Why would you think that?” “The tombstone back there said ‘Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.’”